


A Real Man

by knittyknicker



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Past Abuse, Rape Recovery, Thorsagoodboyfriend, whydoesitallturnouthisway, wtfiswrongwithmybrain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-13
Updated: 2012-06-13
Packaged: 2017-11-07 15:59:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/432926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knittyknicker/pseuds/knittyknicker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor likes Steve and lets him know it. The fallout is unexpected, as is the reason behind it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Real Man

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Deutsch available: [Ein echter Mann (A Real Man)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/889678) by [Terrenis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Terrenis/pseuds/Terrenis)



> Since I still feel like this is unclear: the non-con is between Steve and unnamed OMCs.

The last of the invading forces fell to the throw of Captain America’s shield as he stood crouched in the middle of a destroyed block of office buildings. The twang of the shield’s return flight could be heard just seconds before his hand snapped up to catch it. 

“Good work, shield brother. We should celebrate in the manner befitting warriors of our stature.”

Thor’s grin had swallowed most of his face, and Steve couldn’t help but grin back. 

“I’m pretty sure the ale and mead won’t be any more effective than earth alcohol, but I could definitely go for a bite to eat.”

“Nay, that is not the celebration I was referring to. I was thinking that a vigorous round of mating would be a most effective way to celebrate while allowing us to purge our unspent aggression.”

As he finished speaking, he was surprised to feel Steve pull away from the arm he had wrapped around the soldier’s shoulders. 

“I-i-i have something... I need to... Right, gotta... Bye.”

And Thor watched with a bewildered frown as Captain America walked away from him so swiftly that, in anyone else, it would have looked like running.

~~~>

“Is there a proper way of indicating interest in someone of your realm?

Tony cocks his head, regarding Thor for a moment before he answers. “Pretty sure Jane knows you're interested. Unless you're planning something more permanent?” 

Thor shakes his head, a look of sadness, but not pain crossing his face like clouds across the sun. “No. Jane and I have parted ways. She is a good woman, but not for me.”

“Ah. So another lady's caught your eye?”

“Nay, not a lady. That is why I ask.”

“Well, you have to figure out if that's something he does.”

“Copulate?” 

“Cop-” Tony chokes on the word, wondering briefly if Thor did it on purpose sometimes. “Have sex with other men.”

Thor looks nonplussed at that. “Does it truly matter among humans what their partner is, if they find the other’s personality agreeable?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“So is there any way of determining if he might be receptive to a suit?”

“You could ask him out. Dinner and a movie or something. Museums work for some people while others prefer sporting events. Anything like that is usually pretty OK.”

“I would prefer a more direct approach. Should I not just invite him to share my bed? Would that not answer the question of whether or not they had any interest?”

“Well yeah, it would, but some people like a little more than that.”

“So there must be wooing?”

“Dating. Yeah, maybe Steve would prefer that. He wasn’t raised in this age. When he was on the dating scene, there was considerably less sex without some kind of commitment.”

“I did not specify that it was Steve that interested me.”

“Buddy, it was kind of hard to miss your proposition in the middle of the street.”

~~~>

Thor stands in the doorway of the gym for a few minutes, watching the muscles in the Captain’s back flex as he rhythmically pounded at the heavy bag. Watching him move while waiting for the other man to notice him, he fails to register the cessation of noise as Steve completes his workout and crosses to grab a towel and water bottle from the bench by the door. 

Thor startles a bit but collects himself, nodding at the other man before posing his invitation. 

“Steve, if you are not planning anything this evening, I would like to invite you to attend a baseball game with me.”

“Uh, sure. I didn’t know you liked baseball.”

“I have never watched it but I thought it might be an enjoyable evening with you.”

“Oh. Well, yeah. Just let me shower and get dressed in something appropriate.” 

~~~>

The baseball game is enjoyable, though Steve can’t help flinching when Thor’s hand rests against the back of his neck. He sits tense for a minute and then quickly stands, the words “Bathroombreaklonginningberightback” tumbling out of his mouth as he strides toward the tunnels. 

When he returns, Thor makes no more moves to touch him and Steve relaxes into the game, hoping that Thor has decided not to pursue his suggestion from the previous day.

~~~>

“The baseball game did not seem to convince him of our connection to one another. How many dates do you need before they consent to lay with you?”

“Wow. I’m probably the wrong guy for that question. Most of my ‘relationships’ aren’t longer than the first date. Well, until Pepper. Sometimes I feel like we dated for years before I figured out how important she was to me.” 

“It seems unlikely that he will be that dim witted.”

~~~>

Steve isn’t sure what to think when Thor invites him to an art gallery the following weekend. He assumes that Thor is trying to expand his knowledge of Midgardian customs and agrees to go but he wonders if this is going to be like the ball game. Fortunately, the evening turns out to be wonderful. 

He genuinely enjoys the exhibit, speaking with the artists and several other patrons while Thor examined the paintings carefully before declaring them ‘acceptable’. Steve is just relieved that Thor seems to be respecting his boundaries since he thinks he may be running out of ways to gracefully remove himself from any more close situations. By one am, the showing is pretty much over and Steve is ready to get home, following Thor into the cab waiting on the curb. 

They are on the way back to the mansion when it finally falls apart. As they sit discussing the various paintings, Steve tries to describe the difference between impressionism and abstraction while Thor watches him with an indulgent smile. As Steve opens his mouth to try another way of explaining, Thor leans forward and presses his lips against Steve’s, freezing the words in his throat. 

For a second, Thor relishes the fact that he is finally kissing the one he wants more than anything, and then he feels himself pressed against the opposite door of the cab as the brakes squeal and the cab slams to a halt. Thor feels as though he has just missed something important as he watches Steve fling the door open and slide out of the cab. 

“Good Night, I think I’ll just walk home from here. It was a pleasant evening.” And just like that Thor is left to watch as the Captain strides away from him. Again.

~~~

“Steve, you gotta talk to Thor.”

Steve speaks from where he is slouched on the sofa, paperback propped against his stomach as he flicks another page forward. “No, I really don’t. He’ll move on soon enough.”

“It’s been pouring rain for a week. The governor is starting to panic and the city is talking about evacuating the lower parts of the island.”

“You want me to make him stop it? How do I do that?”

“What the hell, man? He’s totally gone over you. What happened?”

“I can’t do it.”

“So tell him you don’t like guys that way.”

“But I do.”

“So you don’t like Thor that way?”

“No, I like him pretty well. But he’ll expect certain ‘things’,” and here his voice dropped to a whisper as he darted a look around the room, “and I don’t know if I can do it.” 

“Date him?”

“Have sex with him.”

“Well, tell him you’re a virgin. He’s not a monster.”

“No, he’s not. But I’m not either.” Here, Tony struggles to hear the second half of his sentence.

“What? You quit making sense a few minutes ago.”

“How much of my time in basic made it into your files?”

“Most of it.”

“Anything about the day the rest of the recruits got sent home?”

“Only a note about a call for MPs that didn't turn into anything formal.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Sitting up, Steve closes the book carefully and lowers it to the coffee table. 

“That’s what I thought.”

~~~>

Basic is nothing like he was expecting. It was like summer camp with bullets, although Steve has as much experience with summer camp as he does with basic, so that assessment might need a bit more than a grain of salt.

The other men in the group are dismissive of him, sneering at his stature and slender limbs. They refer to him as ‘sweetheart’ and ‘doll’, offering to carry his tray in mocking falsetto as they watch him struggle. More than once Steve has found his footlocker popped open and all of his underclothes swapped for girdles and panties. After a while, he stops reacting at all to finding women’s magazines propped against his pillows.

For the most part, it’s just words and inconvenient pranks and Steve is pretty good at letting them just roll off his back, pushing past the whispers as he hangs upside down on the cargo net (‘don’t let your skirt slide up, doll’) and ignoring the laughing jeers as he tries to wiggle free of the barbed wire without slicing himself open any more than necessary (‘did you run your stockings again, sweetheart?’). 

The day he beats the flagpole is the day it escalates into physical violence. When he gets back to the barracks, he decides to take advantage of the empty showers and hurries to gather his things. After bathing, he towels off and slides into his shorts, wrapping everything in a towel to leave. Coming out of the shower room, he sees everyone is back and has no time to react as one of the squad members hits him with a cheap shot to the gut. Steve collapses to his knees, gasping as he struggles to get his lungs working again.

“You must think you’re pretty hot shit, Rogers.Think you're funny with the flag, eh? See how funny it is when you get chucked out like the waste of space you are. No way Phillips is ever gonna want such a scrawny, weak, girly little bit of fluff like you. But hey, you don’t look half bad on your knees. Maybe we finally found a place for you.”

Everyone else laughs at that, and Steve feels a shudder creep down his spine. He knows that if they find out about him he’s as good as dead, but he’d never really thought about something like this happening. 

They don’t take it any further that day though, and after one last stinging slap, the men disperse, off to do whatever it is they do when they aren’t busy treating him like their personal whipping boy.

~~~>

Tony finally gives up on getting anything more out of Steve and leaves the soldier sitting in the living room, deep in contemplation of whatever sent him running from their resident god. Taking the elevator up to the roof level, Tony shrugs into a rain coat and pulls the hood over his head. 

Outside, the rain continues to fall and Tony takes a moment to enjoy how clean it makes the air taste. It’s amazing what a little water can do, but the thought of how much water has actually fallen in the past few days has Tony scanning the roof.

The thunderer isn’t really living up to his name this time. The storms have been mostly silent, just heavy sheets of rain and the twilight that heavy cloud cover cause, and Tony finally sees Thor in the gloom. He’s sitting against an air duct, arms resting on updrawn knees and Tony can see Mjolnir propped against his ankle. 

Tony’s pretty sure that Thor has been up on the roof nearly the entire time and other than the brief hours that Natasha is able to coax him into coming in to eat or rest, Tony knows Thor has got to be reaching his breaking point. 

Tony has to raise his voice over the drumming of the rain. “Thor, you’ve got to let up, man.”

Thor looks up and Tony isn’t really surprised at how haggard his face looks. “I cannot. I have offended the Captain, and this is my penance.”

“Drowning Manhattan?”

“Nay, suffering for the world to see.”

Tony opens his mouth to respond, but is cut off by another voice joining the conversation.

“Well, quit it. We’re getting complaints.”

Tony watches Thor’s eyes widen as he notices Steve standing just inside the stairwell, trying to avoid the falling rain. 

“Are you finished now? I’d appreciate it if you quit making it pour and came in to clean up a little. When that’s done, we’ll talk.”

Tony is pretty sure he’s just superfluous now and he walks back to the elevator in the slowing rain, leaving the men alone.

~~~>

Steve doesn’t quite know what to say as he stands, waiting for Thor to pick himself up off the rooftop and join him. As the second stretch to minutes and Thor makes no move to rise, Steve sighs and tucks his arms close to his sides as he walks to where Thor still sits. 

“Seriously. Get up, go inside, get out of your wet things and meet me in the kitchen. If I have to talk about this stuff, I’m sure as heck not doing it up here.” With that, he nods and leaves Thor behind, fairly confident that the man will follow. 

~~~>

Steve doesn’t see Thor, but he hears him as he makes his way down the hall to his rooms. While he waits, Steve pulls out the ingredients or pancakes and eggs, whipping up enough to feed them, as he waits. After putting everything together and filing the pans, he stands by the stove, poking the pancakes to check their doneness and thinks about what to tell Thor.

~~~>

The first punch seemed to open a floodgate of physical abuse ranging from shoves and tripping to unexpected gut punches and a few rounds of sparring that leave Steve black and blue under his uniform. The only way Steve can keep himself going was to remind himself that he was doing it to stop bullies and giving into these guys would only make the next time worse. So he kept fighting back, kept trying as hard as he could, kept outshining the other men in whatever way he could, desperate not to be released back to civilian life and an eternity as nothing more than the ‘little guy’. 

The aftermath of the grenade incident has Steve pulled in to a meeting with Colonel Phillips, Stark, Erskine and Agent Carter. Since no one ever answered his question as to whether or not it was a test, Steve isn’t sure if he’s there to be debriefed or sent packing, so Phillips reluctant “good job” makes him feel relief so profound that he has to make a conscious effort to stay standing. 

After what feels like hours, they finish the preliminary meeting and Steve is dismissed back to the barracks. When he walks in, he is surprised to see more than half of the beds stripped down, mattresses folded at one end. As he looks around, he takes in the soldiers that are still there and he tenses when he notices that the soldiers that are still there are the same ones responsible for most of the abuse.

“So you finally did it. I don’t know about you boys, but I’m pretty sure the grenade wasn't the only thing he’s thrown himself on.”

“Look at you. You aren’t a soldier, you’re barely a man. I can’t for the life of me imagine you’ll be anything more than a waste of time.”

“Yeah, well I can think of at least one thing he’s good for all soft and tiny like a girl.”

The hand clamping over the back of his neck takes him by surprise and he struggles as they push him into the mattress. He cries out, but the thick cotton of the mattress stifles his voice and the others laugh. 

“Go ahead and moan for it. We all know you love this kind of thing. Who’s gonna do him first?”

More laughter, and Steve can hear them bicker over who gets to ‘break him in.’ Hands still force him into the ticking, but he feels them shift for a minute. He bucks wildly, trying to get free and nearly succeeds before a sharp blow to the side of his head catches him by surprise and he slumps down, vision greying in and out. 

When his mind finally clears, he can feel air against the back of his thighs. His pants are tangled around his ankles, and his legs extended enough that he can’t catch his balance beyond what the hands provide. The edge of the bedframe digs into his belly and he can feel the nausea building every time he is shifted against the frame. He struggles against the hands still forcing him down but isn’t able to get any real leverage to push them off. 

“Back with us now, doll? We’d hate for you to miss any of this.”

At that, Steve can feel fingers grabbing and spreading him open. A dry blunt thumb is snagged against his hole before the man behind him forces it in, pushing a strangled squeak from his lungs. The man spits, and Steve can feel it run along the crease of his ass before the man pushes it into him with two broad calloused fingers. 

The pain is surprising and Steve bites his lip hard to trap the yell that he can feel building. For a few minutes they stay like that, the man sliding his fingers in and out roughly while Steve chews his lip raw to prevent himself from crying out again. 

Finally the man pulls his fingers free and Steve sighs in relief at having the intrusive things gone. The relief is short lived as he feels something broader and spongier snugged against him.

“Here you go, sweetcheeks. This is what you were meant for.”

And with those words the man surges forward, burying himself to the hilt in one long hard push. Steve’s vision flares white at the pain and he shrieks, startling one of the men holding his wrist into loosening his hold. The pain rolling up his spine prevents Steve from trying to take advantage and he mourns the lost opportunity as the man tightens his grip, squeezing hard enough to make his bones grind against one another. 

Steve can feel the tears tracking over his cheeks and rolls his head trying to hide them. He isn’t entirely successful and one of the other men comments.

“Aw, looky there, you made ‘im cry.”

“Tears. A girl’s trick. Anyone surprised that Rogers is gonna use ‘em?”

“Nah, he wants to act like a girl, we’ll treat him like one.”

Steve tunes out the jeering voices and rides through the pain as each thrust catches on too dry skin, making him feel as though he were burning alive. Finally, after what feels like forever, the man behind him speed up, coming inside of him with a grunt and a splash of warmth that makes Steve retch into the mattress below him. 

When he pulls out, Steve can’t help but hope that they are done as he feels the hands loosen their hold on him. To his left, one set of warm, damp hands replace the cool, rough set he had grown used to and Steve feels someone else approach him. When he hears the sound of a zipper being pulled, he lets out a quiet sob and lets himself fade away. 

~~~>

He comes to alone in an empty barracks. The others are all gone and he is lying slumped over the edge of his bunk. Slowly he pulls himself up to his knees, fingers digging into the damp mattress fabric under his face. He tries to stand, but finds his legs asleep from the odd position he had been left in. He rests, allowing the tears to fall as he waits for the painful pins and needles to subside. 

Once his legs are mostly back to normal, he pulls himself upright and hobbles to the showers, stripping off the rest of his uniform and leaving it where it falls. Once he gets the water on, he turns it as hot as he can stand it and props himself under the flow, letting the water burn into his skin and wash away the feeling of the men on his skin. He makes a few tries to scrub himself more carefully, but every twist makes his back and stomach spasm and he finally gives up, turning his back to the spray and just standing there. 

When the water finally runs cold, he drags himself out, roughly toweling his skin dry as he crosses the barracks to grab clean clothing. It isn’t until he is standing in the middle of the empty room, naked save the towel around his neck, that he really remembers what had happened and he freezes, unable to make himself move, afraid that if he does, someone will see him. 

It takes him a few more minutes to get moving again, but he does, and just as he pulls the SSR t-shirt over his head, am MP pokes his head through the door. 

“Are you the only one here?”

“Yes, sir.”

“We received a call about a loud disturbance but we were kind of backed up. Anything you’d like to report?”

“No, sir. Nothing I’d like to report.” He doesn’t want any record of this night, period, because as long as it doesn’t exist on paper, he doesn’t have to acknowledge it either. 

~~~>

Thor comes into the kitchen just in time to see Steve’s forgotten pan of eggs ignite. Swearing, Thor reaches for the pan’s lid and slams it over the flames, hoping to prevent the sprinkler from going off. Steve cranks on the stove’s vent and the fans succeed in pulling the smoke away before they have to deal with rain inside the building as well. 

“Perhaps coffee might be a better option for this discussion?”

Steve frowns at the blackened lumps of carbon that used to be eggs before he drops the entire pan into the sink, running water and soap over the mess. 

“I wanted you to actually eat something. When was the last time you had more than a sandwich or a couple poptarts?”

Thor opens his mouth to answer and then closes it again, since he can’t honestly remember. It has to be less than a week, but the last meal he recalls is the one they ate together before the gallery opening. The reminder of that night has Thor's face falling and he ducks his head.

“It does not matter.”

“Yeah it does, you idiot. You’re a part of the team and you need to eat. If you pass out during a fight, I’ll leave you lying on the ground.”

Thor snaps his head up to glare at the ‘idiot’ crack, but can’t help notice Steve looks more exasperated than angry. 

“Steve,”

“Thor,”

Both men speak at the same time, their words tumbling over each other. Steve waves his hand indicating that Thor should speak first. 

“Steve, if I have offended you in some way, I apologize. I meant only to show my appreciation for you when I made my offer to share a bed. When you fled the offer, I thought it may have been because I violated some rules I was unaware of. I spoke to Tony and he suggested I try the ‘dating’ but that too failed and now I feel as though you and I will never be more than teammates who share living space when we must.”

Steve takes a moment to absorb what Thor has just revealed, reframing his own explanation in light of this new information.

“Your original offer was kind of abrupt, but it was more what you said than how you said it. As far as the rest goes, I didn’t realize those were supposed to be dates. I thought you just wanted a friend to do stuff with. I don’t have any real experience with dating since I managed to miss the date I was supposed to have.” Steve’s shrug is self deprecating and he takes a deep breath, hoping to get through the rest quickly. “I like you, I do. But I also feel like there may be things you want that I can’t give you.”

“I want no more than you are willing to give. I will not force you into anything you do not desire.”

“Well, that’s... good to know.”

“I fear from your hesitation that there is more to your story than lack of experience.”

Steve laughs here, but it’s quick and so very dry that Thor wonders if he will need to invoke the diplomatic immunity that Fury spoke of by the story’s conclusion. 

“You know I didn’t always look like this right?” Steve’s sweeping gesture has Thor’s eyes following before he responds.

“Yes, both you and the others have referred to the super soldier serum and its effects. Were you very much different before?”

“Yeah. I was tiny. I had health problems out the wazoo and I’d been turned away from military service five times because of it. It wasn’t until my best friend got his orders that I had any shot at getting in. We went to an expo that Tony’s dad was putting on and that was where I met Dr. Erskine.” Steve pauses, staring into the distance and when he continues, his voice is different. Softer, more tentative. Younger, Thor thinks. “He saw something in me and got me in. I shipped off to basic a few days later.”

This time the pause is longer and Thor watches Steve’s throat work as he reflexively swallows a few times. 

“The guys there were pretty awful to me from the get go. Some were awful in general, but a few were really keen to see me fail. At first it was just words, but then it escalated when I showed them up. After that, it was pretty common for me to be black and blue somewhere, though they were careful to keep it under the uniform. I guess they figured I’d rat them out if someone asked questions.”

Thor listens with growing dread, pretty sure he knows what is coming but reluctant to ask Steve to stop as he thinks the telling might be a necessary part in moving past the experience. 

“After I threw myself on a grenade” Thor is sure his face is alarmed, “dummy grenade, just a test, really. After that, the others got sent new orders and I got offered the super soldier procedure. Some of the other guys were pretty unhappy with me and they showed me.”

Steve looks up, meeting Thor’s eyes, and Thor can’t help stretching out a hand to touch Steve’s where they lay on the table. Steve lets him do it and Thor feels a small burst of hope kindle in his chest. 

“If you wish to stop, I understand,but if you wish to finish this, I will listen.”

Steve nods sharply and continues. “That night was the first time I had ever been with another person. Before that I hadn’t even gotten to first base. I didn’t tell anyone what had happened and the serum took care of me physically so there wasn’t anything more than my word against theirs. 

I decided to just forget about it and, for a while, I did. For the most part, I managed to convince myself that it wasn’t my fault, but there was always a part of me that wondered if they just knew I was the way I was and that was why they attacked me. Overall, I was coping. It helped that I wasn't in any kind of position to start up any sort of relationship with the tour, and then all the stuff with the 107th happened and then I was lost.”

Steve catches Thor’s eyes again, watching his face as he speaks. “When you made your offer, it brought all of that back. I hadn’t said anything about preferring men and there you were asking me to bed. It made me think that, once more, I had done something to betray myself and it was going to happen all over again. For everyone else, it’s been years and years. Heck, I’m sure some of the men responsible don’t even remember doing it if they’re alive at all. But for me? It’s been considerably less time.” 

Thor sits, stunned at what Steve has chosen to share with him. He can’t help but feel a little awed at the strength that Steve possesses to remain such a good person even in light of the evil done to him. As they sit, lost in their own thoughts, Thor knows that if Steve will let him, Thor will stand by his side as long as Steve allows.

“Thank you for sharing your burden with me. I am sorry if my actions made your life more difficult. If you wish me to cease all pursuit of something more than friendship with you, you have but to ask and I shall. But, if you do not, I am more than willing to wait for as long as it takes you to be comfortable in such intimacies as the ones that were twisted and forced upon you.” 

Steve nods at Thor’s words before turning his hand over where it still lays under the thunderers palm. Carefully, he laces their fingers together and squeezes gently. 

“You know, when you kissed me in that cab? That was the first time I’d ever been kissed by a man.”

“I am sorry. Had I-”

“No, no. It was nice, but I was worried that you’d want more, so I ran.”

“You have but to tell me and I will stop.”

“Well, we could try the dating again, and this time it might work better since we both know about it.”

“That sounds wonderful.”

~~~>

He can’t help but feel nervous the first time they go out and when Thor takes his hand on the sidewalk, he flinches, looking around to see if anyone is watching, but it’s New York City in the 21st century and no one looks twice. Steve relaxes and tightens his grip on Thor’s fingers, raising his free hand to hail a cab.

They find activities that they both enjoy and Steve marvels at spending so much time together without any sort of expectation beyond hand holding. Steve introduces Thor to Coney Island and they spend an enjoyable day wandering around as Steve shares his recollections of the park the way he knew it. 

Thor delights in the touristy destinations and they spend several more dates out and around the popular attractions. They save the Statue of Liberty for last, and after several weeks of dating, Steve finally takes Thor to see it. It’s an especially big hit and Thor can't help but marvel at the construction of such a “Glorious Goddess of the Americas’ and Steve cannot, for love or money, convince Thor that she’s meant to be a symbolic representation of America’s willingness to welcome immigrants from all walks of life. He finally ends up dragging Thor to Ellis Island as well, showing him the books that record the passage of immigrants into the country.

By the end of the day, even Steve’s stamina is flagging and they head back to mansion. When they reach the living room, Steve pauses, watching Thor as they stand at the end of the hallway.

“I’ve really had fun these past few months.”

“As have I. It has been most enlightening to see the city through your eyes.”

“Yeah, it’s been interesting all right.”

They fall silent, each man watching the other.

“Would you like to come to my room? I have some photo books of New York that are pretty interesting.”

“If that would not discomfit you, I would enjoy the chance to spend more time with you.”

“No, I trust you.”

Thor feels the ember he’s been nursing for weeks ignite at Steve’s soft words and he reaches down, taking Steve's hand in his before pressing a soft kiss against the back. 

“After you.”

~~~>

That first night opens a door for Steve and many of the subsequent evenings find the men curled together on the couch as they catch up on pop culture via movies and exchange kisses when the movies fail to hold their interest.

As the weeks pass, the kisses get more heated and eventually Tony puts his foot down, banishing the pair to their rooms when they want to do that sort of thing. As they gather up their things and turn to leave, Thor calls over his shoulder,

“Perhaps if you convinced the Lady Pepper to do such things with you, your mood would be much improved.”

The sound of Tony swearing chases them down the hall. 

~~~>

Thor wakes one morning and is surprised to see snow falling past his windows. He lies under the covers for a moment just enjoying the weather and the feeling of Steve snug against his back. Thor wiggles a bit, pressing closer to the heat pouring off of Steve’s body and thinks about the fact that there are just four days until they mark an entire year together. 

Their relationship had grown ever more enjoyable with the passing of time and Thor couldn’t help but celebrate the fact that Steve no longer flinched from his touch regardless of where he stood. He also liked that they were sufficiently comfortable around one another to make sharing a bed such a joy. 

After Tony finally banished them from the living room, their movie nights quickly turned into sleepovers, and while there was nothing more than sleeping going on between the sheets, Thor finds himself more content than he had been in a long time. 

Thor sighs and begins to work his way out of bed, careful not to wake the sleeping man. Padding quietly to the dresser, he pulls his pajamas off, exchanging them for the jeans and thermal top draped over a nearby chair, pulling them on before reaching for a pair of the thick socks he preferred to wear around the house. 

When he is dressed, he walks to the kitchen, where he finds Tony contemplating the meaning of life in his half full coffee mug. 

“This weekend marks one year in my relationship with Steve. What is an appropriate way to celebrate?”

“How do you celebrate in Asgard?”

“We marry, but I fear Steve may think me hasty. Also, I am not sure if that is something he wants.” 

“He might.” Thor glances at him. Tony looks as though he hasn’t yet been to bed and his eyes are glassy, but he sounds lucid when he speaks again, “Take him to your favorite restaurant, have a nice meal, a couple bottles of wine, and then go dancing or something. ”

Dancing is the one activity that Thor is hesitant to try with Steve as he now knows the details regarding Peggy and the missed date. He thinks dancing with Steve would be wonderful, but doesn’t want to bring up sad things on what should be a happy day. He hums to acknowledge Tony, and when he turns away from the coffee pot, is not surprised to find the inventor asleep with his nose against the side of his mug. 

Gently, he slides the mug away from Tony’s face and snags the throw from its place by the door. He knows that moving him to a more comfortable place will only succeed in waking him so he just tucks the blanket around him before quietly preparing a tray of breakfast foods and coffee to be carried back to the bedroom. 

~~~>

The bed is empty when Thor nudges the door open with the tray and he cocks his head, listening for the sound of water running. He hears the hiss of the shower head and the off key humming and smiles at the noise. 

Knocking on the door, he lets Steve know that he is there. After an embarrassing encounter left Steve crimson and Thor uncomfortable, Thor is careful to announce his presence so that Steve has the chance to cover himself. 

Today though, Steve walks through the door with nothing more than a small towel wrapped around his hips. Thor watches, mesmerized by the bare flesh he’s only seen on accident or because of injury, as Steve crosses to the dresser, pulling a drawer open. While Thor stares, he shoots a glance over his shoulder and pulls on briefs before dropping the towel. Thor can see the red flush crawl across the back of Steve’s neck and feels his own skin grow hot as he averts his eyes.

“I will leave if you wish to dress in privacy.”

“No. I’d like you to stay.”

“You have no need to prove anything to me.”

“I know, but I’d like to do this. Today seemed like a good day to stay inside and cuddle for warmth.”

“The mansion’s heating system is perfectly adequate for keeping the rooms comfortable.”

“Thor.”

At Steve’s tone, Thor raises his eyes from here they had been focused on the comforter under his hand. 

“I want to do this. I want you to see me and I’d like to see you too. I’ve wanted to do this for a while now, but today just felt right, you know?”

“Not as such, but I am beginning to.”

~~~>

Steve succeeds in coaxing Thor out of most of his clothing and they spend the day together, exploring the dips and plains of one another’s bodies. Finally, they are able to see what had before only been felt through clothing. Thor enjoys watching Steve’s face as he explores nearly as much as he enjoys the feel of fingertips on his skin. 

Thor is careful of where his hands end up, staying away from Steve’s fabric covered middle to avoid overwhelming him. He also makes sure that Steve retains his position on top to avoid feeling trapped. While much of the contact is not new, the lack of fabric between them makes every touch feel like something shining and delicate, and Thor is so very proud of how far they have come, together.

They consume the breakfast early and dress only long enough to gather more food before falling back into bed. By the time mid-afternoon rolls around, both men are comfortably warm and drowsy in the cocoon of their bedding. 

“Steve, would you consider going out with me this Saturday?” 

“Of course. Where?”

“Dinner, and dancing if that is alright with you.”

“That sounds wonderful, but I don’t know how to dance.” 

“I can show you if you like. According to Tony, modern dance is fairly easy.”

~~~>

For the next two days, Thor mulls Tony’s words in his mind. Finally he settles on a course of action and seeks out the one person who can help him. Finding him in his lab is far from surprising and Thor stands back, waiting for the genius to acknowledge him.

“Tony,I wish to take Steve as my husband. Do you know if he posssesses any relatives with which I must speak?”

“Um, no. His parents both died before him as far as we know and he didn’t have any siblings, so it’s just him. I suppose if you wanted to look at it a certain way, I’m the closest thing he’s got since he was friends with my dad and the man spent years and years searching for him.”

“Very well. I ask for your permission to take Steve Rogers as my spouse. I will care for him and acknowledge any children that may occur. Should he decide he is unhappy, he can pursue divorce and retain anything he brings with him to the marriage. As to his price, would you prefer it paid in precious metals or livestock?”

“Whoa, that isn’t really how we do things here on earth. I’m all for the two if you getting hitched, but I can’t give you permission. You gotta ask him. Although, out of curiousity, what kinds of precious metals are we talking about?”

Tony waves the final question away. “Nevermind, if Pep found out I’d sold Steve for anything, even super rare hard to come by metals, she’d never let me live it down.”

“So what is the proper way of ensuring he accept me?”

“Don’t worry, bud, I’ll set you up.”

~~~>

Tony is as good as his word, securing dinner reservations at Steve’s favorite restaurant and setting Thor up with a woman who makes jewelry for a very select client list. Tony figures that a prince should have a personalized one of a kind wedding set and this lady is definitely the best to make it happen in the short time they had. 

He also manages to get two suits sent up that look as though they’ve been tailor made for each man even though neither had attended any fittings, and Tony couldn’t help the smug little smile that hugged his lips for the rest of the day. 

~~~>

The day of their anniversary dawned clear and cold. Steve woke alone in the bed, but didn’t think about it too much as he pulled on gym clothes and walked down to get in a quick workout. He wasn’t sure of what they were doing beyond Thor’s vague dinner and dancing plans and he couldn’t help the swoop of his stomach as he thought about what he wanted to happen after dinner. 

He trusted Thor like he had trusted Bucky, secure in the knowledge that he’d be there no matter what happened. He wanted to take that trust to the next level and as he thought about it, he felt himself grow aroused. He could feel the blood rushing to his face and wondered if the division of blood from his brain to his face and points south might explain the lightheadedness he was feeling. Dropping his fists, he rolled his head back, breathing slowly as he fought to gain control of his unruly body. Tonight, his mind chanted gleefully, tonight.

~~~

As Steve walked down the empty hall, he heard voices and stopped recognizing Thor and Tony speaking. He wasn’t sure what made him stop before they saw him, but he did, leaning against the wall as he listened to them speak.

“Thank you for your assistance in securing the appointment with her. I understand that she is in high demand.” 

“No problem. I’ve spent quite a bit on her services and she’s worth every penny. It really is amazing what she can do in just a few hours.”

“She truly was quite skilled. I was very happy with what I received from her. She has promised the utmost discretion and I appreciate her willingness to indulge me. You won’t say anything to Steve? I would prefer he not know about this.”

“Not a word, my friend, not a word.”

The sound of a hand clapped against a shoulder has Steve moving toward his room, sliding through the door and shutting it quietly as he ponders what he overheard. It sounded as if Tony had set Thor up with a discrete, skilled acquaintance, but what could Thor need that he couldn't get himself? Suddenly ,all of the fear and anxiety that he had ever thought of came roaring back up, dragging him under in a wave of insecurity that threatened to drown him. Steve could think of only thing that Thor wasn’t getting from him, and he prayed that he was wrong, because if he was right, it might just break his heart completely. 

~~~

Steve is quiet when Thor picks him up from his room. He looks stunning and Thor tells him as much, getting nothing more than a half hearted ‘thanks’ in reply. Thor frowns a bit, but follows Steve into the waiting car. The silence continues as they travel and stretches through being seated at the restaurant. 

The waiters offer no menus and Thor assumes that Tony preordered something appropriate when he made the reservations, though they do offer wine to both men, and pour glasses before retiring from the table, obviously aware of the tension building between the silent diners. Finally, Thor cannot stand the silence anymore and just asks.

“Is there something bothering you?

“Where were you today?”

“I spent the day with a friend of Tony’s. He recommended her for her skill at satisfying unusual requests and I found myself quite happy with her efforts.”

“But why you didn't even talk to me first.” Thor is confused by Steve’s statement. Was it not true that the ring was supposed to be a surprise?

“Tony suggested I ask after I had seen what she had to offer.”

“But that still doesn’t explain it.”

“It wasn't something I could do for myself. I required someone with the necessary skills.”

“Why not? Lots of other guys do just fine without hiring someone to take care of it.”

“None of the ones I have seen look like they were done at home.” 

Steve looks puzzled at that but soldiers on, leaning forward in an attempt to keep his voice quiet.

“Well maybe not at home, but at least their partners were aware of what was going on.”

“So I should have taken you with me? Would you have prefered to pick?”

“No. You should have told me you needed it and I would have helped.”

Thor feels as though he is arguing in another language that he doesn’t quite understand, which is, he admits, a most unsettling feeling.

“You are not skilled in this. I would not have you injured doing something you were unprepared for.”

“That isn't the point. This is something we have to do together or our relationship doesn't work.” 

Thor is trying to stay calm, but the accusation in Steve’s voice has him feeling defensive even though he knows he has done nothing wrong. He hears himself getting louder but can’t manage to pull himself back.

“I just wanted to follow your traditions.”

Steve is shouting at this point. “Cheating isn't a tradition.”

The accusation has Thor shooting out of his chair, as he yells back,

“I never have done such a thing.”

“You did. You admitted earlier.”

No. You are twisting my words.”

“Well, explain to me how spending the morning with a woman of negotiable affections doesn’t constitute cheating then” 

Thor rears back as if slapped, mouth working silently as he wonders how everything went so wrong so fast. His mouth snaps shut with an audible click of teeth and he takes a few deep breaths before he speaks calmly and quietly, the only sign of his agitation the waver in his words.

“It was a jeweler, not a prostitute. She made this for me to present to you. I had hoped to take you as spouse, but I see I have erred in my assessment of your regards for me. I’ll go so as to no longer inflict my presence on you.” 

Thor gently sets the box on the table before he turns and walks away, leaving Steve stunned and silent behind him.

For long moments, there is nothing more than the ringing of his ears as he stares at the tiny black box. 

“Oh, god. I’m such an idiot.”

~~~ 

“You’re an idiot. He’s been home for less than an hour and there is already more than an inch of accumulation. Fix it Rogers, or so help me, I’ll find a way to end you.”

Steve just stares at Tony, watching the billionaire speaking and waving the remote as he punctuates his words while Steve drips on the seven thousand dollar rug. 

“I get that you have issues and secrets and I know that after what went down- and no, no one told me, I figured it out myself, genius remember- you have things that concern you about all of this stuff. But Thor? He’s the real deal. He’ll never hurt you, never betray you, and he’d likely lay down his own life in seconds to save you. So if you feel anything at all for that man, you figure out a way to make it stop raining and fix what you fucked up. Now, get the hell out of my living room. Pepper’s here, and for once, I’m not the one in trouble. Go on, shoo!”

Steve turns, following Tony’s advice and nearly collides with Pepper as she walks out of the kitchen. 

“Hi, Steve. Listen to Tony. He knows all about fixing screw ups, though usually he’s less eloquent about it.”

Tony’s ‘hey’ and Steve’s ‘yes, ma’am’ clash in a jumble of syllables as Steve heads for the stairwell and the man he has hurt so very badly. 

~~~

When Steve reaches the doorway, he flashes back to that first night, all those months ago when he stood in the same place, trying to coax a god out of the rain. That time, the storms reflected Thor’s sadness, all gloomy clouds and steady rain. 

This storm is different, and Steve knows it. The air is heavy with the hum of elecricity and lightning bolts split the night sky. The wind ships needle sharp drops of water thrugh the air and as Thor register’s Steve’s presence, both the intensity of the rain and the frequency of the strikes pick up. 

Steve pulls the box from his coat pocket and clenches it in his fist. When he reaches Thor’s side, he drops to sit on his knees by the thunder god’s side. He reahes to touch the soaked man, but drops his hand when Thor shifts to avoid contact.

“I’m so sorry.” Steve’s voice is lost to the wind and he clears his throat, speaking more loudly. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I jumped to such a hateful conclusion, I’m sorry for being an immature, insecure jackass. I’m so, so sorry. ” Finally, Steve’s words slow and he falls silent. 

The rain tapers off slightly, allowing Steve to hear Thor’s question.

“When you said you trusted me, did you mean it?”

“Of course I did. Do. Of course I do.”

“Then why would you accuse me of treating you so disgracefully? Have I evinced any unhappiness in what we have?”

“Well, no, but you’re you and I’m... me and there are things I know you need that I haven’t been providing.” Steve slumps as he finishes his statement, staring at the ring box still cradled in his hands. 

“When all this began, I told Tony that I didn’t believe you to be as dim witted as he in regards to the affection of your partners. I see now that I may have been in error.”

Steve opens his mouth, but Thor hold up one hand, silencing him. “If I were unhappy, do you really believe me the type to keep silent? Is it not far more likely that you allowed something you heard to feed the fears lodged in your heart?”

Thor watches Steve’s face as he nods his answer. 

“If this were Asgard, and I in the position to offer it, I would have the me responsible brought to justice. As it is, all I can offer is the rather paltry exchange of my heart and my support for as long as you’ll have me. If and when you are ready, I shall teach you that love making is a joyous experience to be shared among trusted partners and nothing like the abomination those monsters forced upon you. Until that happens, I am more than content to keep what we have.” 

Thor touches Steve’s face, pushing his chin up to meet his eyes. “My only condition is that you believe me when I say that I will never betray the trust you have given me. I would lay down my life in defence of you. I do no less with my heart.”

As Thor finishes speaking, Steve watches his face carefully. For long moments, nothing moves beyond the still falling rain around them. Finally, Steve crawls forward, pushing Thor’s legs down before straddling them, shifting to fit their limbs together.

“This morning, everything was perfect and I was so excited to go out with you. When I overheard you and Tony talking, I really didn’t know what to think. You’ve never kept anything from me before and I couldn’t think of any good reason why you would be. I’m sorry for automatically jumping to something so bad. I do trust you, but I still struggle to trust myself.”

Thor wraps his arms around the large warm body pressed against his chest and carefully maneuvers Steve in to lay a gentle kiss against his forehead, pushing the soaked strands of hair back from his eyes.

“I see you kept the box. Is the ring to your liking?”

Both men look down as Thor snaps the hinged box open, pulling the band free. A wide silver base supports strands of intricate gold knotwork that chase around the ring, leaving a few open spaces, each of which sport a rune. 

“It’s perfect, but what do they mean?”

As Thor explains, he points each symbol out, “This one, ‘Beorc’, means growth. ‘Gebo’ is partnership, ‘Wunjo’ is joy, and this one, ‘Ehwaz’, is trust.”

Tapping the final mark,Thor slips the ring from Steve’s palm, turning it over in his fingers. 

“Today was not at all what I was expecting, but I find myself reluctant to nurse my hurt and anger. Perhaps I have grown as much as you during our time together. I would still like to offer you my troth, and I would be most proud to call you husband, if you’ll have me?”

“Of course, I’ll have you. Yes, definitely.” 

As thor slid the ring onto Steve’s finger, their faces move closer and closer, foreheads touching, as they sit in the pouring rain and just hold on to one another.

~~~~

Nine months later:

Steve didn’t care what anyone said about June weddings, September was an amazing month to be married in and as he ran down the aisle still clutching Thor’s hand, he couldn’t contain the giddy laugh that burbled up his throat any longer. 

The aisle was lined with familiar faces, Tony grinning and throwing confetti (since birdseed was a no go apparently) as Pepper stood beside him, rubbing her hand over the prominent swell of her abdomen. 

The rest of the team were there as well, although Coulson had confiscated the miniature confetti firing bow Clint had attempted to smuggle in, leaving the archer pouting, and Bruce was already making his way to the doors, leery of the crowds and the noise. Even Fury had shown up, looking handsome in his suit, having left he daunting leather trench home at Steve’s request.

Steve saw Odin and Frigga as well, momentarily surprised to see them as the invitation sent to then received no reply. Thor looked startled as well, slowing to allow his mother to enfold them both in a warm hug, as Odin nodded to them from his spot at her back. 

“How?”

“Heimdall. He suggested today was a good day for a visit. I am pleased to see he was not wrong.”

With a final squeeze, she released them and they made their way to the empty bride’s room, giving the rest of the guests time to make it to the reception site. 

Finally, the men were alone.

“Well, husband? How do you feel?”

Steve’s grin was wide enough to split his face and Thor laughed out loud.

“I feel like the last week was one of the longest weeks of my life, and I’m including my time on ice.”

“You were the one who opted for tradition, husband. I recommended a quick tying of the knot, but you wanted this. You have naught but yourself to blame.”

“Pfft, still. It was worth it, wasn’t it?”

Thor pulled on his hand, reeling Steve in against his chest as he lowered his head to reach his lips. Just before they met, Thor breathed out, “For you? It truly was.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yet again, I take an angsty prompt and turn it into fluff. WTF brain? there will most likely be a wedding night follow up to this, but I *have to* finish a few languishing WIPs before anything new.
> 
> The runes for the ring came from here, http://mensap2p.com/Leonie/newRunes.gif Ehwaz doesn’t match, and I shifted it to trust as I’ve seen it used that way and I liked that translation better, so there you go. 
> 
> As usual, unbetaed so all mistakes are mine.
> 
> Thanks!  
> ~~~


End file.
